Meijering with an Ethanator

Some of the funny things that came up when Ethan and I went to the groccery store:

(while walking in) E: "You know Mom, one day I'll be an adult and I won't be little anymore.  But YOU can still call me your little boy."

(also while walking in) E: "I wish that I could be on Aunt Kristi's shoulders, and Ian could be on my shoulders, and we could be AS TALL AS THE IRON GIANT!"

This isn't really something he says... but he always has to go say hi to the lobsters... and he kisses the tank when we leave, despite numerous warnings from Mom NOT to do that because he doesn't know about all of the germs on that tank (**shudder**)

when he see's the shelf is almost empty in one area E: "what is this grocery store doing?  Aren't these shelves supposed to be full?!?!?"

(Meijer gives free cookies to kids - my kiddos know this, but they also know they only get one if they are well behaved)

Me: "Ethan you've been doing a really good job, keep being good and we'll go get your cookie in a minute"

E: "Yes!  That is the law of the grocery store!"

He amuses me :)

Boys will be boys...

...and I'm not sure about other Mom's of little boys, but they seem to be fascinated with their penis's at an early age.  Since about age two, Ethan has been asking me questions "Do you have a penis, Mom?" "No."  which turned into "Do you wish you had a penis, Mom?" and "Did you used to have a penis, Mom?"  

I've heard of "penis envy," but with Ethan it has always been more like "penis bragging."

We were standing in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed (I work nights, so I get ready for bed in the morning) - Ethan looked at the picture that I have hanging on the wall of the bathroom and said, "Mom, what is that?" I replied, "It's a flower, babe."  He looks at it for a minute and says "Huh.  Looks like a penis." - and exits the bathroom.  The bathroom is of flower bulbs, so I guess it could look a little testicular - but the way he see's things never ceases to amaze me.

This past weekend, Jacob (17yr old step son) tells Will & I, "Ethan came up to me and said something really weird..."  We finally got him to tell us what was said, "Ethan came up to me and said "My penis is growing.  Getting bigger." - and then he just walked away!"  We told Jacob he was little and it wasn't that serious, but this stuff still boggles my mind!

Sometimes it isn't what they say...

...But what they do.  This post is about things that they have done.

Graduation Party

This summer Will, me, & all of the kids attended a graduation party. It was a nice party with tons of food and a bounce house to keep the kids busy.  Since the bouncer was there, the kids were jumping & taking periodic breaks to run back to our table for a bite of food or to take a drink, then back to jumping.  I saw Ethan climb out of the bounce house & when he didn't appear at our table soon after, I started looking around. 

And I saw him.  

He was standing in front of a tree, back turned to us, pants down, getting ready to pee on the tree.

But I wasn't the only one who noticed this, naturally.  We heard laughter from some other tables as they noticed his bare butt and I, embarrassed, was briskly walking around the tent & tables to stop him.  Well, he heard people laughing too, and turned around to see what everyone was laughing about, flashing the entire tent.  

I got to him soon after that, and led him into the house to use the bathroom, having the you-only-pee-outside-when-we're-at-home conversation for the thousandth time.

Birthday Party

Later on in the summer, at their Birthday party, he also peed outside on a tree in front of everyone at his party.  He did this about SEVEN TIMES, not caring that I asked him to go in the house when people are over because he "really had to go."   (Damn you, capri sun juice pouches!!!!). Except then, just standing on the tree & peeing wasn't good enough I guess, because as he was going he started circling the tree.   The fact that the last time he did this, towards the end of the party, our dog Lola ran up & started trying to DRINK THE PEE only encouraged him that this was funny.  It was gross. 

And of course, they both seem to think that "let's go in the house," "it's time for bed," or we need to GO, we're running late" mean scream-like-a-maniac-and-run-like-hell-while-giggling-like-you-are-hilarious-when-Mom-and-Dad-chase-you.  Never a dull moment. 

Creepy...

Personally, I think if anyone can see spirits, it's animals and children, and sometimes kids say creepy things...

About a year ago, Ethan came into my room in the middle of the night and asked to sleep with Will & I.  When I told him he needed to sleep in his bed, he said "But that girl keeps walking into my room."  Since I am the only "girl" in the house, I said "Ethan, Mommy is the only girl here, and I did not walk into your room."  Ethan looked at me in complete seriousness and said "NOT YOU, Mom.  The other girl..."

He did eventually go back to his room, after we checked it together.

The most recent creepy thing, was just a few weeks ago.  Ethan, Ian, Will, & I had been out at my parents house for awhile that evening.  On our way home, it was dark.  We drive through the country on the way home and Ethan said "I just saw the Shaddow-Puppet Man walking."  

Will looked at me, freaked out, and said "Did he just say he saw Satan walking?"  I said no, and repeated what Ethan had said, 

"Ethan, who is the Shadow Puppet man?"

He ignores this and says that the Shadow-Puppet man was walking in the direction of Grandma's house.  He then says "what if he finds me?"  and I remind him that he said he was walking towards Grandma & Grandpa's house, not our house.  

Ethan drops this and in 5 minutes we are home.

In getting Ethan out of his car seat, Ethan said "I think he's looking for me." when I said "who?" I remembered, and he said it: "The shaddow puppet man."  

I told him, "You said he was going towards Grandma's house.  You're safe."
Ethan said "A long time ago, back when I was a grown up, we were friends."

I asked "back when you were a grown up?"  

He said, "yes Mom, a long time ago."

and, of course, later said, 

"We can't be friends now because of Ian."

Must be hard to be the little brother.  Can't wait till he starts talking more and he tells me stories too!

Ethanism One-Liners

Some funny, sometimes random things, that Ethan says...

"Mom, can we take Ian back to the brother store?"

Really?!?  Poor Ian

After returning home from a visit at Grandma's...

"Mom, Grandma used to be bigger then she is, she is getting littler.  Shrinking."

my Mom is short, so this made me laugh and call her to tell her about it.

After Aunt Kristi said, "you're my parrot" to him...

"I can't be your parrot, I'm too busy being a person!!!!!!"

...and busy you are

Boy Dog

Boy Dog

We got a puppy earlier this summer & named her Lola.  Ethan approached me and said, "we need another dog, I need a BOY dog, Mom."  I said "why" & Ethan went on, "the DOG I have is supposed to be a boy.  The BABY is supposed to be a girl!"
ME: "you want Mom to have another baby?"
Ethan: "yes, a girl baby"
Me: "you know, if Mom had another baby we would probably have another little brother"
(Ethan looks over at Ian, his little brother)
Ethan: "Nevermind."

Fired, Bodily Freedom, and getting kicked out

Fired.  

The day my youngest (Ian Jayce) turned 2 last week we were at the Toledo Zoo.  It was hot, and the kiddos were thirsty so we stopped by the elephants to sit on a bench & get them a drink.  I had hurriedly packed the diaper bag that morning, and I just brought two sippy cups.  After filling the cups with propel, I gave one to each boy.  Ethan was then angry because Ian was using "his" cup.   I explained to Ethan (4) that his little brother was at the age where he still needed the sippy cups, and I pointed out to Ethan that he drinks out of regular cups well so he really doesn't need them.  This prompted Will (my love, and their Dad) to tell Ethan he needs to stop drinking out of sippy cups altogether, and came up with Halloween as his official "Done Date."  

 Ethan was not very happy about this, and so he looked at his Dad and informed him "You're fired."  Will said "what?" 

And Ethan repeated, "You're fired."   

Will, because he's a smart ass, then replied, "Oh you're firing me?  Well Ethan, I hope that you have $250,000, because I am filing an EEOC complaint for wrongful termination, and I am suing you.  Do you have $250,000???"  

Ethan: "Yes I do."

Will: "Really?  Good!  In that case, after we leave the Zoo, why don't you write a check out to cash and we can stop by the VW dealership and get your Mom a Beetle, she's always wanted one of those, and I'll get a VW bus, maybe we can even go shopping for other stuff, maybe stop by your dentists office and pay off your bill that just came.  Am I still fired?"

Ethan: "yeah....  But after you get that stuff for my Mom..."

Bodily Freedom.  

Ethan was with my sister, Kristi, and they stopped at a gas station and went into the convenience store.  Ethan then decided he has to pee BAD and was holding himself.  They didn't have a public bathroom, but the cashier felt bad for him and said he could use the staff bathroom.  Ethan used the bathroom and they were in line to pay for their things, when the cashier noticed Ethan was still holding himself.  She said, "you used the bathroom, you don't have to hold yourself anymore."   Ethan replied, "you don't tell me I can't hold my penis!!!"

Getting Kicked Out

Ethan wanted something ridiculous (probably ice cream or popcorn for breakfast, or something along those lines since it was early in the morning) and I told him "no."  He then told me "If I can't have it, then you aren't allowed to live here anymore."  I replied "no?  Do you want Mom to leave?  I guess I'll have to go somewhere else then."  Ethan: (pause) "...maybe I could go with you." (Another pause) "...and Ian can come too."  I said "and Daddy can come with us too?" When Ethan, in a tone that suggested what I said was ridiculous, stated "No Mom, SOMEONE HAS TO WATCH OUR HOUSE!"

Intro

I am Laura, a Mom of two little boys named Ethan and Ian.  This summer Ethan turned 4 (Aug 15) and Ian turned 2 (sept 9).   They say things at times that I find funny, and sometimes wonder where they get this stuff...  So this is my place to share it and also create a record for me to be able to share with them when they are older.  Make sense?  At the start of this blog, the quotes are going to be primarily what I like to call "Ethanisms," because Ian isn't talking in full, concrete sentences yet.  I suspect there will be more to add from Ian as he grows 😊.  Hope other people enjoy my kid - tidbits like I do 😊.  I am also 100% sure that I will not have time to update this every day, so I am aiming for weekly.